About 6 years ago, amazing to me that I’ve lost track now, as it seemed so significant at the time, I lost over 120 lbs. But I didn’t just lose the physical weight. I also decided to lose “wait” now.  By that I meant I was no longer going to wait to do anything in life.  If I had the opportunity to say yes, I was going to.  I was no longer going to put off anything because I was too scared, nervous, or afraid I wasn’t able to do it, people wouldn’t like me, I would look like an idiot, I would be too tired, I didn’t have the money, or whatever other excuse I had come up with for every other previous second of this very precious life.

I was also going to say no when I didn’t feel like doing something.  I was no longer going to feel guilty when I didn’t feel like helping someone or going to that kid’s birthday party, or missing so and so’s whatever because I just felt like napping, eating pudding instead, watching tv, going for a walk, or doing nothing.  That’s right.  I was aces with being selfish.  Because if it didn’t feel authentic, I didn’t just feel okay saying no, I felt great.  In the past, I did a lot out of wanting to be the good girl, wanting everyone to like me, really caring what everyone thought about me.  And frankly, it was exhausting.  Obligation isn’t fun.  It’s uncomfortable.  It’s resistance.  Today, it’s not so much that I don’t care what you think about me but I’m no longer concerned.  It’s your story of me, not mine.  And I can’t control that anyway and it’s not even my business.

So this all leads me to the hokey pokey.  This past weekend I was out late in NYC at a birthday party and didn’t get home till 3am.  I was all kinds of good tired…. it was really good birthday party.  I had committed to going to the Hudson-Over the Walkway the next day to participate in an attempt to break the Guinness Book of World Record for the most people doing the Hokey Pokey at the same time.  Seemed like a great idea when I agreed to do it. Say “yes” to everything, after all.  But I do that when I’m not working off of 2 hours sleep.  So when my alarm went off at 6am, everything in me said, “you do NOT have to do this”.  I’ve been working on changing my language so I quickly (okay, sluggishly and grudgingly) changed my thoughts to, “you GET to do this. You can nap when you get home. This is a once in a lifetime thing.  Just get up and do it.” 

So I did.  I said “yes.”  And once again, I was so glad I did.  I could have been old, fat me and slept through it. And missed spending the time with my family and making memories I will never forget.  It was hilarious, silly fun.  It was being a kid again.  It was impossible not to smile.  Everyone was happy.  All 2,500 + of us were kind, loving, and generous to each other on that bridge, that morning.  And we hokey pokey’ed in unison, for five minutes and entered the Guinness Book of World Records together.  No one can ever take that away from us.  At least until a larger group of idiots decides to do the impossible J  But that morning,  that morning… that was what it was all about.